Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
