Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
