I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
All the doctor said was why
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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