every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
