Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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