I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
