I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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