So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
