why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
