Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Randomize
