ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
