Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
They took my balls.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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