Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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