It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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