belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
