What did we do last night that was yellow?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I love having hate sex.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
