you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
