i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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