i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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