oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
