She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm always down for nudity.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
