Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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