Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
