at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
