high people should be assigned attendants
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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