No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
