okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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