Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize