i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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