she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This toilet bowl is my home.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize