I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
