This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
