I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize