I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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