you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
