You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
