it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
