and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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