You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
bring money and cleavage
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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