Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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