the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
