Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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