By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
