Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
