If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
