dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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