She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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