I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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