if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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