i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize