At least make sure they are 18
Why
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
