we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
