Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
