thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
