your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
