just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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