i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have already put on my inside pants.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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