he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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