Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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