I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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