My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
