I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
