if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
