Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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