break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Randomize
