Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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