I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We had sex on a dog bed..
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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