weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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