we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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