The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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