Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he puts the penis in happiness.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
