I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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