Just fell off a train. Bad.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
