So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
