I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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