5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
