I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
